LaRosa Johnson {dot} com

Of late, there have been a few things on my mind & heart. Two of those things have been death and marriage, not particularly in that order.

The marriage issue has been making its rounds in my head for a while now. After seeing so many men of God stumble into the sin of adultery, it’s been one of those things that I’ve kept in prayer. First and foremost, I’ve been praying for these men & their families, praying for restoration, reconciliation, and continued growth in the Lord. Once I’ve lifted them up, I pray for others that I know who are married, I pray for the husbands & wives, praying that they don’t fall prey to similar temptations. Then, I find myself praying for my own marriage and my own strength. I don’t want to go down that path. It’s so easy to do, without really thinking about it; but, that’s not a path that I want to go down. I don’t want to get emotionally attached to any other woman to the point where that would even be an issue. I never want to cause my wife & family that kind of pain. I don’t want to bring my Savior that kind of shame. The hardest part, though, is knowing that as much as I pray, if I don’t continually keep my guard up, I can just as easily fall flat on my face. That’s a tough pill to swallow, and all the more reason for me to stay knit to Robin and my Lord.

But not only is there infidelity, there’s also divorce. I know way too many people who have or who are getting divorced. In some cases, I agree that it’s more than justified and biblical, but it still hurts to see, especially knowing that these are brothers and sisters in the Faith. It breaks my heart. When I heard about one friend’s divorce, my heart sank, and I wept inside. Again, that’s not a road that I ever want to go down, so I have to stay on my P’s & Q’s. At the very least, it’s situations like this that keep me on my knees interceding on behalf of others because it is so easy, even for Christians, to throw it all away and be done with it all.

The bottom line is that I want my marriage to work and to be an example of Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church. I once remember an elder at my former church telling Robin & I that other couples (young & old) were watching us to see how we were going to react in different situations. Were we going to quit or stick it out? Were we going to remain faithful and continue loving one another? I realize that people are watching, and I want my marriage to be an example of what a Christ centered marriage should look like.

Then there’s the thought of death. As I was getting ready to leave work today, a co-worker informed me that her husband’s grandfather had passed away. I gave my condolences & prayers, but the thought of losing a loved one had me thinking the entire drive home. I tried to drown my thoughts with loud music, but my thoughts screamed even louder. I thought back to October 2007 when my grandfather (on my mom’s side) passed away. Even though I didn’t shed a single tear, I still miss him. And, I haven’t seen my other grandparents (or the rest of my extended family) since that time. Knowing that my remaining grandparents (my grandmother on my mom’s side [Granny], and both of my dad’s parents) aren’t doing well, I can’t help but want to visit and see them at least once more before they pass on to glory. I want to tell them that I love them and just spend some time with them.

Not only that, but I want my children to know who their great grandparents are. Growing up, I only had the opportunity to get to know only one of my great grandparents and I wish I had the opportunity to have known her better. I can only imagine the wisdom and knowledge that she had obtained in her many years on this earth. At the very least, I want my grandparents to be able to see their great grandchildren, considering that they’ve only seen Ramiah in pictures & they all grow so fast.

Family is important and it’s not something we should think about only when they’re dead and gone. We should take the opportunity to spend time while we have the time. So, with that, already having a trip scheduled for Detroit this summer to visit Robin’s parents, we’ve made plans to make a trip back to NC to visit my parents. While in NC, we’ll make the trip up to Virginia to visit my grandparents, Lord willing that He allows them to tarry that long.

Those are my thoughts tonight, death & marriage, marriage & death. Probably better stated as marriage & family; but, simply put, both are something I want to protect and respect. Grace & peace.

LaRosa Johnson Family, Life death, Family, grandparents, marriage, vacation

The last few weeks have been mentally taxing. It’s a rare thing for opportunity to come knocking at the door; and, it’s even rarer for an opportunity to literally knock the door down and place itself in your hand. Well, this is a situation I’ve found myself dealing with.

Now, most people, given the opportunity would jump on it without a second thought. Quite honestly, I would do the exact same thing, and would love nothing more than to take this opportunity up on its offer. But, there’s a catch. You see, the current circumstances surrounding my life are preventing me from accepting the offer, at least for the time being. More than anything, the one thing that’s keeping me from jumping all over this offer is the fact that I’ve committed myself to training my spiritual gift of pastor-teacher, which is something that I am absolutely not willing to abandon, especially not after having put in two years of work. I’m not willing to abandon what I know to be God’s will for my life right now, not even for what may be the opportunity of a lifetime.

In many ways, I know this is nothing more than a test of my resolve to see what’s more important to me. Well, the answer is quite obvious and it was easy to make, although it leaves me mentally taxed with “what ifs” and monkeying with scenarios. The fact of the matter is that I know where God wants me to be right here & right now, which is training my gift, and that’s where I’m going to stay.

Even though it’s not remotely related, I can’t help but to think of Saul when he was given orders to destroy the Amalekites (1 Samuel 15). He followed Samuel’s instructions except for the fact that he kept back some of the choice livestock, instead of destroying it all as the Lord had commanded. It was at this point that God rejected Saul and his line as king over Israel. Although it doesn’t completely relate to my circumstance, it has taught me the importance of complete obedience to the Lord, and not just following His instruction partly. The words of Samuel in 1 Samuel 15:22 still ring in my ears, “to obey is better than sacrifice.” The rest of what he says hits pretty hard too.

I feel that if I took this opportunity right now, I’d be putting myself in the same situation as Saul when he didn’t completely obey the Lord. I have my instructions (finish my training), and I have to see that through, and not just do it halfway, even if I think this opportunity may benefit me & still be honoring to God. The fact is that this is most honoring to God, so that’s where I need to be. If the Lord wills, the door of opportunity will remain open until my training is complete and the Lord allows for me to take hold of it; otherwise, I will view this as a matter of testing to see where my heart and focus are. I will say that I appreciate the opportunity set before me, but it’s not worth squandering what God has placed before me.

LaRosa Johnson Faith, LaRosa, Life, Ministry ministry training, obedience, opportunity

I’m in the midst of my journey to read through the Bible in a year. Within the past couple of weeks I’ve finished Exodus & Leviticus, and now I’m about halfway through Numbers. It’s been an exciting read thus far. I’ve been motivated to read and a lot of stuff that didn’t make sense before is being comprehended this time around.

With my recent reading, the Lord has really been rocking me. I’m seeing how the Israelites are being delivered & provided for time & time again by the Lord God, only to spit back in his face & complain. On more than one occasion God was ready to take out the Israelites because of their disobedience. Even people that you wouldn’t think would rise up against the Lord, like Miriam & Aaron, had their moments. It’s crazy, seriously! The Lord provides manna, but that’s not enough; no, they want more meat! The Israelites want to know why they’re stuck in the wilderness & left to die or killed by those in the Promised Land, when they “had it made” in Egypt, when they were really enslaved. Oh, and you can’t forget the Levites trying to rise up on Moses & Aaron, wanting to know why they’re in charge.

In all of this, the Lord was quick to want to just take the Israelites out completely, wiping them off the face of the earth, wanting to just start over with Moses. It can’t be said lightly enough that God’s anger toward them was fuming and He wasn’t playing around. If it weren’t for Moses praying for forgiveness, I don’t doubt that God would have done it.

What’s the lesson in this for me? God doesn’t take lightly to grumbling & complaining. Just looking at the Israelites & their attitude, God wasn’t very pleased. I can only think that He’s looking at me in the same light when I act in a similar manner. More than anything, this is serving as motivation for me to continue walking upright, while making sure that I keep my griping to a minimum. Instead of complaining, I need to learn to be more thankful for what the Lord has provided, as opposed to looking back to the past or wanting more than what He’s already providing.

Thanks for the lesson, Lord!

LaRosa Johnson Bible, LaRosa, Life bible study, complaining, reading, thankfulness

It’s nice when you wake up and get an unexpected surprise. Today I had a twofold surprise. First, I woke up this morning and was checking Google Reader and was going through all of the blogs I follow. There’s nothing unusual about that, except for the fact that Logos mentioned me in their latest blog entry. Last week, I posted an article on Trailblazin Ministries that gave an overview of Logos Bible Software 4. So, in their blog post, they were talking about all of the different users who had made videos talking about the software, and I was one of the few mentioned. That was really nice to see given the fact that I put it up on the site and only publicized it through a single tweet on Twitter.

The bonus to this is that the desktop app pulls in the Logos blog and displays it on the home page. So, I get the extra blessing of seeing my name displayed in my Bible software’s home page. How cool is that?! I don’t know, I’m a geek like that, but it just made me feel good. More than anything, I’m just glad that people appreciated the video and found it worth talking about.

The second surprise when my in-laws, who are in town for Thanksgiving, unexpectedly gave me a few dollars to have as spending money. That was a pleasant gift, the kind that gives you warm fuzzies. Now to figure out what to spend it on, LOL. I’m thinking about buying more books for Logos. I’ve got my eye on the MacArthur & McGee eBible packages so that I can import the unlocked books into Logos 4, but I’ll think it over.

Anyway, both of those were nice surprises and I thank God for them. A nice way to round out all the thankfulness that I expressed this past week. Thanks God.

LaRosa Johnson LaRosa, Life, Stuff on the Web blessings, Family, gifts, link love, Logos 4

Over the weekend, while I was installing Windows 7, I had quite a bit of time to sit back & think. During that thinking, I think I had a bit of an epiphany, or something like that. It’s probably more along the lines of a personal revelation than anything else, especially given the fact that it’s a pretty obvious fact to most people.

What is that revelation? Simply put, you should use what’s going to work for you without worrying about the thoughts & opinions of others. If there’s something out there that works for you, then by all means you should use it, regardless of what people may think. For example, I still like & drink Kool-Aid at the age of 27, and I could care less what some of my friends may think. It’s a personal preference, it works for me, I like it, so I’m going to continue drinking it. Or a better example may be my use of the Microsoft Zune over the infinitely popular iPod from Apple. The Zune may not have the same cool factor, but for me it’s more functional and gives me a better experience than I would have if I owned an iPod.

Along those same lines, you shouldn’t try to make something be what it’s not designed to be. Of course, there will be people out there that think you should, for whatever reason; but I don’t think that you should. A Honda Civic isn’t designed to tow & haul stuff like a Ford F-150, so why would you even attempt to make the Civic perform the functions of the F-150? Instead of trying to make the Civic perform like the F-150, why not just use the F-150 and be done with it? That’s how I feel about some things. Some things are designed with a particular audience in mind, and it should be allowed to function in that capacity. We shouldn’t try to force it to be something that it’s not; instead, we should embrace it for what it is & use it for what it was designed for. At the same time, if you know that you’re going to do a lot of towing, skip the Honda Civic altogether and just use the F-150 because you know it’s going to be able to perform the way you need it to.

That’s the realization I came to this weekend. There’s been some stuff that I’ve been trying to push and use in a way that it wasn’t designed for. The problem with that is that I have the proper tools sitting right next to me; so, instead of forcing my screwdriver to be a drill, I just need to grab my power drill and use it to help me accomplish the job quickly & efficiently, especially when I know that it’s a better tool & I like it better anyway.

LaRosa Johnson Life, Ramblings decisions, tools, usefulness

I’ve been thinking about this topic lately, and I thought about it some tonight while I was driving to my Hebrew class. Am I too nonchalant about things?

For the most part, I’m a calm guy and it takes a lot to get me riled up (my kids are another story, LOL). Life is stressful & busy, but even that doesn’t bother me or make me lose my cool. I roll with the punches and keep on going. Sometimes, though, I wonder if this is such a good thing. A perfect example would be my finances. My money is tight, sometimes in the red. Does that bother me? Not really. Sure, it concerns me and I do what I can to better manage my money, but I don’t let it get to me or bend me out of shape. I remain cool about it all. I’ll find out about stuff that’s going on with my family, like when my grandfather passed away from cancer. Was I sad to lose him? Yes, but I was still calm about it, almost too calm if you ask me.

The more I think about it, I realize that it’s probably the way I should be. The more I study Scripture, it makes sense. If I’m focused on my Father’s business and heavenly things, then the rest of what happens in my life is an afterthought. The bad things? Momentary light afflictions that pale in comparison to what God has in store for me. The good things? Highlights that give me opportunity to thank the Lord for His kindness. I sometimes wonder if this is how Jesus was while walking the earth. Stuff was happening around Him, but He didn’t let it phase Him.

Whether it’s good or bad, I’ll keep walking this way because it keeps me from being anxious (a command from Scripture) and from fearing. My faith is in the Lord, and I’ll keep rolling with whatever comes my way because I realize that it’s all part of God’s design for me & my family. Maybe being nonchalant in a Christian way can be a good thing…

LaRosa Johnson Faith, LaRosa, Life, Ramblings anxiety, Scripture, thoughts

Just a brief update on my “experiments”…

Experiment One: So far, I can’t say that I’ve completely abandoned hip-hop, but it has definitely been sparse. The only hip-hop I’ve really listened to are albums that needed to be put in the queue for review on Trailblazin Ministries. As the gatekeeper of the site, I need to continue to make sure that what gets covered has acceptable content. I have been listening to a lot of new music, though. I’ve found a few new jazz artists that I like, thanks to my friend Antoine. I’ve also picked up some R&B/Soul too, so that’s been a nice listen. It’s definitely been a break in the monotony. In a lot of ways, my perspective on music has really changed for the better, even to the point of openly being more critical of the hip-hop I listen to. Of late, I’ve been able to listen to a CD once, extract its content & theme, and determine whether it’s good or not; not bad for a single listen.

Experiment Two: This one hasn’t gone quite like I planned, but it’s doing better than I expected. I’ve been able to have devotions ready for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so I count it a success. Still finding it a bit difficult to get in all of the studying I would like, so I need to figure that out. Partly it’s because I’ve found myself drained, of late, so much so that the last thing I want to do is sit at my computer and try to read. It’s one of those things where my spirit is willing, but my flesh is apparently weak, fat & lazy. I’m going to pray and see where I can do better.

Experiment Three: Things are getting better at work. My motivation is coming back, slowly, and I’m finally starting to get into a groove with things, making sure people are getting things done and that I’m able to tackle some tasks as well. Still growing here, but progress is what I’m looking for.

That’s it. Just a (somewhat) brief update. Off to do whatever.

LaRosa Johnson LaRosa, Life, Ramblings

In recent days, today included, I’ve had a few chats with my friend Antoine. On any given day, we talk about almost anything, especially in relation to living the Christian life. A few of our more recent conversations have really stuck in my head; most aren’t really related, other than showing the evolution of my spiritual walk and maturing as a person.

The first conversation was had earlier this week; we were chatting about Christian hip-hop music. I had mentioned the name of a few albums & songs that I had come across of late. Most of them left me shaking my head, and wondering what had become of the genre. In our chat, I had made a comment to the extent that I was really starting to lose hope/faith in the genre. His response to me was, “Starting? How about lost and looking for a reason to keep it there?” (paraphrase). It really made sense, and his follow-up comment wondering why I try to convince myself otherwise was spot on. For the most part, I have somewhat of a love-hate relationship with the genre. I still support it because I dig the music (most days) and my site has found a nice niche with it. On the other hand, there’s a lot I see that I could do without, leaving me wondering why I don’t just let it all go.

With that in mind, I’m going to try my first experiment. I’m going to get rid of most of the Christian hip-hop from my Zune and car (leaving it on my computer, of course). In its place, I’m going to make use of my Zune Pass and add some of the other musical genres that I’ve been listening to of late, particularly jazz, soul, UK R&B/Pop, some electronic music, and anything else I find appealing. There are a few CHH albums I’ll keep around because I find them edifying; but it will only be a few (let’s say less than 20 out of the hundreds that I own).

Why do it? Mainly to get along without it; I’ve basically been listening to it non-stop for a little more than a decade. I’m tired of waiting for the scene to mature, and it’s not like it’s my “calling.” So, I’m just going to let it be and see where God takes me. Who knows, I may not look back. I don’t have a timeframe for this experiment, I’m just going to let it take its course.

That’s the first experiment. The second conversation was had this afternoon. I was telling Antoine how I felt that Trailblazin Ministries was in a good place right now, other than the fact that I wish that I could have content to put up daily, instead of being so sporadic. I told him that I’d like to see devotions published daily (M-F) with a full length study published monthly, along with sporadic music reviews & articles. His comment to me was, “Why aren’t you?” I told him that it was a time issue. He told me that it was a lame excuse and that if I really wanted to do it I could make it happen by simply better managing my time & prioritizing (much like I did when I picked up Hebrew this year). In thinking about it, I see where he’s coming from. There’s a lot of idle time in the day where I find myself just surfing the Internet; I could use that time for study and writing.

So, that’s my second experiment. I’m going to challenge myself to cut back on the “idle” times and be more diligent at studying and writing. I don’t think I’ll immediately get to writing devotions every day of the week, but I can start with at least two or three per week, and build from there. As far as devotions go, I’ll probably have to pick up a few additional topics of study so that I can remain fresh without focusing too hard on a single subject. That will help because if I get stuck in one topic/study, I can move to another and keep moving with content.

Experiment number three? Nothing major, just continuing to improve my management skills at work and keeping myself motivated. That’s another talk Antoine & I had. His words of wisdom have had immediate benefit, making for a productive end of the week. I just need to keep growing and learning, figuring out what works best for me, instead of simply doing what may have worked for someone else.

Let the experiments commence…

LaRosa Johnson LaRosa, Life, Ramblings advice, Christian hip-hop, experiment, Music, Trailblazin Ministries, writing

This weekend, I learned a couple of lessons about data backup, purchasing a new computer, and migrating data. Having maxed out the upgrades to my laptop, Robin & I decided that it was time to purchase a new computer given the low prices and having a more powerful PC for work & study.

After doing a bit of study, I purchased a 17” Dell Studio notebook for $750, which trumps my previous laptop in every way possible (which I paid $1200 for back in 2007). I also picked up an extra AC adapter (so I could leave one at my desk, and then have a separate one for travel/work).

So, onto the lessons learned. Having recently purchased a new hard drive & experimenting with Windows 7 on my previous laptop, I had become pretty proficient in backing up my data, so that was all set and ready to go. I had data backed up on my external USB and anything else ready to go to transfer over the network from the old laptop.

I start setting up the new computer, installing software & migrating data. I get everything just about done, and decide to play some music while I finish up a few last minute installs & migrations. It’s when that happens that I notice that there appears to be something wrong with my speakers, as there’s a terrible crackling sound coming from the left speaker. This is terrible! I’ve got a defective computer, and I didn’t know until I had spent nearly 8-12 hours moving data. I debug as best I can and ultimately decide that it’s a hardware issue that cannot be rectified by updating drivers or new software. What a bummer! I call BestBuy and see what my options were, considering I had just taken the time to move ALL of my data over to this new machine. They tell me to bring it in & they’ll replace it & possibly just swap the hard drive from the defective one to the new one.

I package everything up & get to BestBuy, prove that it’s defective (pretty easily I might add). But then they tell me that they really don’t want to swap the hard drive (just in case it was part of the problem), and tell me that I can still do it, but they’d have to charge me for it. Even though I had quite a bit of personal data on there, I left it in the Lord’s hands that they’d wipe the drive clean, and just opted to take the new notebook and do the whole process over again. I had the kids with me, and they were acting up, so that was really my only option without coming out of more money when I didn’t feel like I should have to given the machine was defective.

After I get home & get the machine past all of the default setup stuff, I immediately took a cue from my previous experience and test the audio (cranking it up to the max), as well as testing all the other items. After I was sure this one checked out, I continued to migrate all of my data & reinstall my software. Surprisingly enough, it only took me about 4-5 hours the second time around, probably because I had a better idea of what I needed and where stuff was in my backups. So, I had the computer 95% done by Sunday morning, ready for church; I saved the remainder for Sunday evening, since I wouldn’t need it until Monday.

It was definitely a relief to have a working machine, other than almost having another scare with the audio this morning. I noticed that there was some popping/static while listening via my headphones. Since I knew it wasn’t likely to be hardware, I updated all of the major drivers (audio, video, chipset, wireless, and BIOS), which apparently fixed my issue. As of now, I only have a minor problem with one application in particular, but luckily enough it’s not dire because I’m able to do similar work in another program.

That being said, I’m enjoying the new machine and pray that it holds up and does everything I need for years to come for both work & ministry/study. The main lessons learned in this: 1) keep usable backups, and 2) test everything on a new computer to make sure it works before taking the time to put all of your data on it.

LaRosa Johnson Life, Tech Stuff BestBuy, Dell, hardware problems, install, laptop

The North Carolina Tar Heels have won the national championship. Go heels!

Okay, let’s keep it moving. Life goes on; there are more important things to be concerned with. But again, go heels!

LaRosa Johnson General, Life national title, UNC