LaRosa Johnson {dot} com

I have to be honest for a minute. For the past month or two, I’ve found it incredibly hard to find time to study, or at the very least get motivated to study the Scriptures. Of course, I have my moments where I just dig in my heels and study like there’s no tomorrow, and I enjoy every minute of it. Yet, it feels like those moments are few & far between.

A perfect example of this is May 29, that night I spent a good amount of time exegeting the first few verses of 1st Thessalonians 3. Before that, I had spent the two previous nights just reading the chapter over multiple times to make sure I had a grasp on the big picture. Now, that’s all fine, except for the fact that I haven’t gotten back to the study since then. When I started the chapter, I was motivated and had the desire to just knock it out as fast as I could, and now here I am almost 2.5 weeks later and I haven’t touched it. What’s up with that?!

I can’t help but think to myself, “What’s going on?” How can I go from reading through the entire Bible in less than six months and being pretty consistent in my studies to completely falling off the map? I don’t have the answers, but I realize that I have to look at life and see where things are. For the past few months Robin had been in school and had homework to do nearly every night, so there was adequate time in the evening to study with the house being very quiet after putting the kids to bed. Now that that’s over (except for another month of it with her final class starting next month), that “routine” is out the window. Then there’s the simple fact of studying in the evenings. I’m a morning person, so the night isn’t when I’m at my best, yet that seems to be the only time that I have available to me for study, which isn’t the greatest thing. That being said, I really don’t see myself getting up any earlier than I already do because I already know that my brain isn’t that awake first thing in the morning. Lastly, there’s the fact that my desk & de facto office is the living room where everyone lives, which means that there is never a moment that I can close the door & study (even with headphones). Sadly, with the way this house is configured, there’s no other option.

Taking all of that into consideration, the question is: what do I do? How can I find that consistency that I desire for wanting to study when I have a home life that is far from being consistent or conducive to study at the times when I’m at my best? I can’t help but think that when we purchase our next house, we’re going to have to shoot for one with five bedrooms so that we can make one into an office/study. Hopefully & prayerfully, that can happen in February 2011. Until then, I have to figure something else out, and I’m more than open to suggestions.

As a final side note, the desire to spend my day studying the Word of God has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I love my job, but I love studying the Bible more. I would love to be able to spend my days studying, writing devotions & Bible studies for Trailblazin Ministries, recording audio & video teachings, and sharing the Word with whoever will listen. If I could have my way, while still supporting my family, that’s what I would do. At the moment, I have no idea how I would even go about making that happen. It’s something that I will leave as a matter of prayer and hope that maybe the Lord can open that door sooner rather than later, whether it be doing Trailblazin Ministries fulltime or pastoring a church (doing TM alongside it). That’s all in the Lord’s hands, and He knows the desires of my heart. Right now, though, I just need to find some consistency, and fast.

The last few weeks have been mentally taxing. It’s a rare thing for opportunity to come knocking at the door; and, it’s even rarer for an opportunity to literally knock the door down and place itself in your hand. Well, this is a situation I’ve found myself dealing with.

Now, most people, given the opportunity would jump on it without a second thought. Quite honestly, I would do the exact same thing, and would love nothing more than to take this opportunity up on its offer. But, there’s a catch. You see, the current circumstances surrounding my life are preventing me from accepting the offer, at least for the time being. More than anything, the one thing that’s keeping me from jumping all over this offer is the fact that I’ve committed myself to training my spiritual gift of pastor-teacher, which is something that I am absolutely not willing to abandon, especially not after having put in two years of work. I’m not willing to abandon what I know to be God’s will for my life right now, not even for what may be the opportunity of a lifetime.

In many ways, I know this is nothing more than a test of my resolve to see what’s more important to me. Well, the answer is quite obvious and it was easy to make, although it leaves me mentally taxed with “what ifs” and monkeying with scenarios. The fact of the matter is that I know where God wants me to be right here & right now, which is training my gift, and that’s where I’m going to stay.

Even though it’s not remotely related, I can’t help but to think of Saul when he was given orders to destroy the Amalekites (1 Samuel 15). He followed Samuel’s instructions except for the fact that he kept back some of the choice livestock, instead of destroying it all as the Lord had commanded. It was at this point that God rejected Saul and his line as king over Israel. Although it doesn’t completely relate to my circumstance, it has taught me the importance of complete obedience to the Lord, and not just following His instruction partly. The words of Samuel in 1 Samuel 15:22 still ring in my ears, “to obey is better than sacrifice.” The rest of what he says hits pretty hard too.

I feel that if I took this opportunity right now, I’d be putting myself in the same situation as Saul when he didn’t completely obey the Lord. I have my instructions (finish my training), and I have to see that through, and not just do it halfway, even if I think this opportunity may benefit me & still be honoring to God. The fact is that this is most honoring to God, so that’s where I need to be. If the Lord wills, the door of opportunity will remain open until my training is complete and the Lord allows for me to take hold of it; otherwise, I will view this as a matter of testing to see where my heart and focus are. I will say that I appreciate the opportunity set before me, but it’s not worth squandering what God has placed before me.

I’m not big on making resolutions for the new year, but I’ll admit that I have spent the past few days mulling over ideas. Not ideas of how I can improve myself or anything like that. Instead, I’m sitting here trying to think about ideas for ways to do more with Trailblazin Ministries in 2010.

Coming into this year I had come up with a few ideas that I thought were going to work out rather well. One of my goals was to start on a devotion series for 1st Thessalonians, after having finished James in December of 2008. Well, it got started but not until April, primarily because it took me forever to get my outline together for chapter one, and I’m still only part way through my outline for chapter two as we near the close of the year. The other major idea was to begin a study on spiritual gifts. That plan didn’t come together at all; I didn’t even get a chance to start on it. I guess the Lord had other plans & didn’t allow that to ever come together.

2009 wasn’t entirely a disappointment. The site got moved to a backend content management system (from Movable Type to Joomla to Drupal), as well as a much needed redesign. In terms of running the site, things are going a lot more smoothly. Plus, George Sly took on a bigger part this year, adding his own devotion series. So, I won’t complain. Even though all of the plans didn’t come together as expected, it was still a solid year.

Now, as I get ready to move into 2010, I really have a burden for putting up more content on Trailblazin Ministries, and doing it more consistently. I’m determined to get away from the music (not entirely, but it’ll take a major backseat to teaching), and I want there to be a heavy emphasis on teaching the Bible. There are two ideas that are really sitting in the forefront of my mind, but I really don’t know if I have the motivation to do them, even though I think they’d be great ideas.

The first idea is to have Trailblazin Ministries go through the entire Bible. I had thought about doing it in a single year, but that would be about 5-6 chapters per day, Monday through Friday; yet, if I do it in two years, it cuts the reading in half. Now, along with that, I would give my own summary & commentary of sorts on the text that’s being read. The big thing is that it’s such a major commitment and I don’t want to get it started and then quit a month or two into it. I’m afraid to try because I know my tendency to not see things through, as well as not really knowing how heavy my schedule may be. But, if I don’t try, I won’t know if I could have ever done it.

The second idea is more feasible, but I’m still not quite sure how it would work. It would be to do a “word study of the week” where I pick a Greek or Hebrew word and put together a word study on it, with definition, a listing of its usages, and so on. The only real hard part here is that most of my original language resources are in copyright and I don’t want to run into any kind of copyright issues if I have to copy & paste text. That’s really the only big hurdle and it’d be easy enough to plan out the list for the entire year.

Not to mention, I’d also like to do something more with my podcast.

All of this would be on top of maintaining the 1st Thessalonians devotion series, as well as any other content. I’d love to make this happen, but quite frankly I’m scared of failure. I really don’t want to start something and not see it through. So, pray for me, pray that I can get some clear direction for which way to take Trailblazin Ministries in 2010. If you have any ideas for content or for the podcast, feel free to pass them along. I’m open to all ideas, and I’ll at least consider them.

Tonight while I was eating dinner with my family, I had a thought. I started to have a thought about the future and possibilities that may come my way. In particular, I was thinking about the very real chance that I may be called by the Lord to pastor a church in another city or state. With that, I started to think about the very real possibility that the church may not be in a position to support me financially; what would I do? I immediately looked at my current job and wondered about the chances for me to maintain full-time (or part-time?) employment with WORDsearch Corp. working remotely while I pastor a church elsewhere. How would WORDsearch react if that were ever to become a reality? The thought isn’t so much about my job per se, because I know the Lord will provide regardless; but, I must admit that I love my job and what I do and would ever hate to leave it.

Anyway, the thought came to mind as I was looking through some old photos (back in my skinny days) of when Robin & I first met and when we were in our house in Jacksonville, NC. It brought back some nice memories and the very real thought of how much I enjoyed living there. Then I thought about when I found out about Jacksonville Bible Church a couple months ago, and wonder about the probability of God presenting me with a pastorate at that church. That would be wild and I wouldn’t put it past God, and that’s part of what made me think about working remotely. Why? Because I remember what the job market was like when I left, and I wouldn’t want to change jobs if it was a church that couldn’t pay me to be their pastor.

Another reason that all of this comes to mind is that I think about my own pastor and how he worked the night shift at the sheriff’s department during his first few years of pastoring our church until they finally came to the decision that they wanted him to solely focus on being a pastor & dedicating himself to studying the Word. I keep that in mind for myself. It’s definitely not something I’m opposed to because I realize that I’m definitely not in this for the money and am only worried about being where God wants me to be, paid or unpaid.

In talking with my friend, Antoine, tonight, I told him that I’d even be perfectly content if all that God ever had for me was Trailblazin Ministries. I look at other people I know who are ordained and have never pastored a church or had to wait for years for that opportunity. I don’t know what God has in store, but I do know that I’m going to remain diligent and focused whatever my ministry assignment is. All of this is just speculation on my end, as I have no clue what God has in store; all I know is that I will keep my prayers centered on keeping myself in His will. Amen.

I really like how God shows up in my life. Just the other day I was thinking to myself that I’m not doing anything other than wasting time by being on sites like facebook, and had even contemplated closing the account. Well, today God spoke up and showed me that ministry can even happen on facebook.

A few weeks ago (I think) I accepted an invitation from a guy I knew from high school. Didn’t think anything of it other than having another high school acquaintance in my list. Well, this morning I get to work and I have a message from this guy; he’s completely sharing his heart with me and seeking a bit of spiritual advice. It caught me completely off guard because we weren’t close in school and hadn’t seen each other since high school over 9 years ago. Yet, even with that, he scoped out my profile, saw my walk with the Lord and felt that he could confide in me. Wow!

Needless to say, I hooked him up on his request and will now keep him and his family in my prayers as they continue to grow in their walk with the Lord. It’s just awesome how God can take the most ordinary and everyday things and turn them into ministry opportunities. I thank God for the open door and for allowing me to be prepared with a response. I look forward to seeing what happens next!

I had Greek class tonight, and it was a lot of business as usual; but, I can feel that I’m really starting to pick up on stuff and have it make sense to me. Like tonight, I actually felt like I understood the material and was getting somewhere with it. I was even reading the Greek text with more ease than I had been. The best part was doing exercises and being able to answer some of the questions without even thinking, that felt good.

Overall, I’m still encouraged and taking it day by day. The Lord is blessing and I’m feeling better equipped to teach His word. But don’t stop praying for me, I still need all the prayer I can get.

This morning at church, Austin Bible Church held its first men’s prayer meeting. It was a great time of fellowship with other men of God. One of the best parts is that a good majority of the men in the church showed up for it, which in & of itself is a great thing. It is definitely a testimony to the teaching that we’re getting from our pastor and the level of respect that we have for him.

As for the event itself, it was great talking to the men and just enjoying the company of one another. After the food, which was delicious, Pastor Bob picked out a few men and had them share their prayer requests, and after each one another man took those requests before the Lord on their behalf. After doing that for a half hour or so, we then got a devotional & encouraging word from one of our elder statesmen, John Miller, a retired pastor. I definitely left encouraged. After a closing prayer, we closed & departed our separate ways.

I can’t wait until our next one, whenever it is!

The other day I was listening to Evangel’s solo album Expository Journey, and it was a good listen. It definitely reminded me of why it was a top 3 album for me in 2008. Well, this morning I woke up and I got to thinking about ministry and my training. In getting through my thoughts, there were plenty of mixed emotions, highs & lows, patience & impatience, and so on.

A part of this hit me yesterday when my wife & I agreed to renew our lease for another two years (instead of just doing it for a year, as we had done before). In previous years I was slow to want to make a commitment for that long because I really wasn’t sure where we’d be at that point in time. When I looked at my ministry training, though, I didn’t have a second thought about renewing our lease for two years. You see, at the very least, I know I have at least two years left (this year & next) for my ministry training. At most, I know I will have made it through my requisite three years of Greek and two years of Hebrew (if all goes as planned). Hopefully by that time, I’ll also be that much closer to being prepared for ordination and ministry.

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It’s only January 3, but I’ve been pretty busy. Over the past couple days, I’ve spent quite a bit of time working on Trailblazin Ministries, getting things in order for the upcoming year. For starters, one of the more important things I did was update the mission statement for this ministry & website. When I changed the name of this ministry to its current name back in 2005, I distinctly made urban & hip-hop culture a focus. In the three years that this site has been around, we really haven’t done a whole lot to target that focus group, outside of a few items here & there; so, with that in mind, I changed the mission statement to reflect a more centralized vision, which is to simply teach the Bible, with a very minor emphasis on the urban culture (i.e. hip-hop devotions & album reviews).

Before that, though, I did some cleaning up by pruning some old users from the forum. The community forum had well over 500 registered members to its name, but only a small percentage (and I do mean small) of them actually log in & participate on the forums. I really didn’t mind this too much until I decided to send out a mass email via the forum and got a significant amount of bounced emails. So, I went in and removed all of the accounts with invalid email addresses. After that, I decided to do more cleaning, eventually getting to the point where I deleted everyone who had never logged in or hadn’t logged in at all in 2008. That brought the final number of registered users down to 60 or so, down from 500+. My goal in doing that was to have the forum reflect a more accurate user base, having only those who are active participants.

After completing that task, I moved on to the Steps DTM portion of the site, since I knew I had a new class coming in this month. I wanted to rearrange the classes a bit and finish publishing the later lessons. This actually worked out well because I used some material that I had just gotten in the past few weeks as part of one of the lessons; it seems that was the missing piece all along. In a matter of a couple hours I had that job completed. I celebrated that victory by emailing all of the new Steps disciples of their acceptance and getting them all setup for the course of study.

Then there’s the whole bookstore thing, which you can read about in the news section of the main site. That was a few hours of work, but well worth it. It’s nice to know that people can now purchase physical copies of my writings if they so choose.

To round things out, I also helped Garrett & George get setup for their upcoming devotion series, and welcomed aboard a new album reviewer. All in all, I’d say that we’re ready for 2009; I just need to get on the ball and start cranking out these 1 Thessalonians devotions, but that will come in due time. I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store for this year, and I’m going to do my best to rejoice in every single day.

Over the past few days I’ve engulfed myself in the study of Paul’s first epistle to the Thessalonians (aka 1st Thessalonians). When I first started, a lot of my study was spent reading the epistle in full, and re-reading it over & over again so that I could have a good feel for the layout of the letter and what it’s all about. I’ve also been gathering a lot of background information on the period, the people, and so on. So far, I’ve gathered quite a bit of interesting information and it’s been a fruitful study. I’ve read outlines and overviews, developed my own outline (at least very basic & skeleton in form), and now I’m finally to the point of digging into the verse by verse study.

Tonight, I spent a few hours studying 1 Thessalonians 1:1 and I’m surprised at the wealth of information that I’ve found in preparing the detailed outline for the opening greeting. In all the work I put in tonight, I didn’t get any further than "Paul, Silvanus and Timothy." In studying this part of the verse I was able to put together a six point outline, with sub points underneath most of the main points. One of the more interesting points that I found is that 1st & 2nd Thessalonians are the only two Pauline epistles that don’t contain any kind of personal elaboration such as "Paul, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus." And that’s just one of the things that I was able to discover in my studies. What’s more, what I’m finding in the rest of the verse is just as exciting. There’s even a text criticism issue at the end of the verse!

All of this really has me excited! When I first looked at this epistle, I thought it was a pretty simple book, especially the first three chapters; but, now that I’m studying it in-depth, it’s renewing my passion for studying the Word all over again. I wonder how I’ll get any work done, given that I spent three hours studying the names of the senders. Hopefully I’ll be able to get the first chapter outlined and finished by the end of the year so that I can get it to my pastor for review and to be ready to teach it at Austin Bible Church when my time comes. Plus, I need to be ready to teach it here come the beginning of the year.

I’m looking forward to diving back into this text tomorrow night! Until then, grace & peace!