When Yeshua was asked what the greatest commandment was, He didn’t hesitate:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is, Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these.” — Mark 12:30–31 (CSB)
We talk about the first part all the time… loving God with everything we have.
We talk about the second part too… loving our neighbor.
But here’s the part we rarely stop to consider: To truly love your neighbor, you must also love yourself.
The Wrong Assumption Many Preachers Make
I’ve heard countless sermons where the preacher quotes “Love your neighbor as yourself” and then jokes, “We all know we love ourselves more than anyone else. So just love others that much!”
Here’s the problem: that’s simply not true for everyone.
Many people do not love themselves at all. Some quietly battle self-hatred. Others carry a constant weight of self-criticism, shame, and comparison. And when you don’t love yourself, your “love” for others often comes out sideways:
- People-pleasing to feel accepted.
- Over-giving until you’re resentful.
- Serving from emptiness instead of overflow.
That’s not the kind of love Yeshua modeled… it’s striving for worth, not flowing from it.
What “As Yourself” Really Means
The Greek word for “as” (hōs) here means “in the same manner” or “to the same degree.” Yeshua wasn’t assuming we already love ourselves; instead, he was setting a measure: Love your neighbor in the same way you love yourself. Or put another way: As you are loving your neighbor, also love yourself.
The truth is, if you don’t love yourself, you will inevitably struggle to love others well.
This isn’t about self-indulgence. It’s about seeing yourself through God’s eyes: valuable, beloved, and worth caring for. It’s letting his truth shape the way you think, speak, and act toward yourself.
How God Loves You (and How to Love Yourself the Same Way)
If we want to love ourselves the way God does, we have to first know — and believe — how God loves us. Scripture paints a clear picture:
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made – Psalm 139:14
- You are created in His image – Genesis 1:27
- You are precious and honored in His sight – Isaiah 43:4
- You are fully known and fully loved – Psalm 139:1–4; Romans 5:8
- You are chosen and dearly loved – Colossians 3:12
- You are His workmanship, created with purpose – Ephesians 2:10
- You are redeemed and forgiven – Ephesians 1:7
- You are the apple of His eye – Zechariah 2:8
- You are cared for like a good shepherd cares for His sheep – John 10:14–15
- You are adopted as His child – Galatians 4:4–7
Loving yourself like God loves you means:
- Speaking truth over yourself when shame whispers lies.
- Caring for your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19–20).
- Giving yourself grace in failure, the same way He does (Psalm 103:8–12).
- Allowing space for rest, joy, and healing.
Hear me on this… self-love rooted in God’s love is not arrogance. It’s agreement with heaven about who you are.
God Does Not See You as a “Wretched Sinner”
But there is one thing God does not say about you, and it is this…
One of the most damaging lies preached in parts of evangelicalism and Protestant Christianity is that you are fundamentally a depraved, wretched sinner incapable of doing good.
That is not how God sees you.
That is not what Yeshua taught.
Yes, Scripture acknowledges that all have sinned (Romans 3:23). But the gospel is not about giving you an identity of sinfulness. No, it’s about restoring you to your original design. It’s about reconnecting you to God — to the Divine source of life and love.
From Genesis 1 onward, God’s declaration over humanity was “very good.” Even after the fall, his mission has always been restoration — bringing you back into wholeness, dignity, and alignment with his image.
Yeshua’s ministry was never to shame people into the dirt; it was to lift them up, heal them, and call them into the fullness of who they were made to be.
If you believe you are nothing but depraved, you will treat yourself as such. And that subsequently will shape how you treat others. But if you believe you are God’s beloved, redeemed, and purposeful creation, you’ll begin to love yourself — and others — accordingly.
Loving With God’s Love First
Yeshua didn’t call us to love out of our own limited capacity. He called us to love with God’s love… which means we have to receive it first.
When we truly internalize His love, we stop running on empty. We stop loving others in a way that’s really just an attempt to feel worthy. Instead, we love from overflow — and it changes everything.
Love Is Honest (and Requires Discernment)
Real love is both compassionate and truthful. Without truth, love turns into enabling. Without love, truth turns into brutality.
I’ve had to live this out recently. It’s not easy. Speaking truth in love — especially when it’s uncomfortable — takes courage. It means risking misunderstanding. But it’s necessary for real growth — both in yourself and in those you love.
God’s love holds both truth and compassion perfectly. When we learn to do the same — starting with how we treat ourselves — we begin to mirror His heart.
The Overflow Effect
When we love ourselves the way God loves us:
- We stop trying to earn value through performance.
- We can say “no” without guilt and “yes” without fear.
- We serve others without hidden strings attached.
- We offer ourselves the same grace we give to others.
It’s not “me first” — it’s “me too.”
The love that flows to others is the same love that flows to you.
Yeshua’s Example
Look at Yeshua’s life: He loved others deeply, but He also cared for His own soul.
- He withdrew to pray (Luke 5:16).
- He rested (Mark 6:31).
- He allowed others to minister to Him (Matthew 26:6–13).
- He lived from His Father’s approval, not from the crowd’s applause.
If the Son of Man practiced self-care rooted in love, how much more should we?
The Invitation
If you’ve been taught to neglect yourself in the name of loving others, hear this clearly: God’s command to love your neighbor doesn’t cancel his desire for you to love yourself. They are inseparable — one cannot exist in fullness without the other.
Love God.
Love your neighbor.
And don’t forget… love yourself, too.
A Closing Scripture Meditation
As I bring this to a close, I have a simple Scripture-based meditation for you that will help you if you are struggling to value yourself the way God and Yeshua do.
Take a few minutes. Find a quiet space.
Read these words slowly… as if God is speaking them directly to you.
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.” – Psalm 139:14
“I have called you by name; you are mine.” – Isaiah 43:1
“You are my beloved child; with you I am well pleased.” – Matthew 3:17
“You are my workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.” – Ephesians 2:10
Sit with each verse. Let it dismantle the lies.
Picture God’s glorious light surrounding you — warm, steady, and unshakable in its love.
Ask him: “How do you see me?”
Then listen.
As you begin to see yourself as he does, loving your neighbor will no longer come from obligation — it will come from the overflow of a heart that knows it is already loved.