This post is a little different. It’s not a neat “3 steps to…” kind of article, and it’s not meant to be a theological treatise. Instead, it’s simply me being honest about where I am right now in my faith journey.
I recently recorded a raw, uncut video sharing this same story (see video embedded above). No script. No edits. Just me talking through what has been stirring in my soul. This post is a companion to that video — a way of putting into words what I wrestled through unscripted. This is the more polished and abridged version of my video.
Why Words Matter
For me, words and definitions carry weight. They mean something. That’s why I can no longer, in good faith, call myself a “Christian.”
Not because I’ve lost faith. Not because I’ve abandoned God. Not because I’m bitter or angry at the church.
But because, by the definition the church itself holds for what it means to be a Christian, I no longer align. I can’t say the right doctrinal words anymore. I can’t pretend that my beliefs neatly fit within the framework of Protestant orthodoxy.
And so, out of integrity, I’ve stopped using the label.
That doesn’t mean my faith is gone. In fact, in many ways, I feel closer to God and more anchored in the teachings of Jesus than ever before.
What Hasn’t Changed
Here’s what hasn’t shifted for me:
- I still believe in God… whether you call it God, Source, or the Divine (the word you use doesn’t matter to me).
- I still hold Jesus (Yeshua ben Yosef) in the highest regard. His life and teachings remain my compass.
- I still believe the heart of the journey is simple: love God and love others as you love yourself.
- I still strive to live a life of forgiveness, compassion, and openness.
If anything, these commitments feel deeper now than when I was within the walls of traditional Christianity.
What’s Expanding
Over the last few years, I’ve been exploring areas I once would have avoided:
- Near-death experiences (NDEs). Thousands of stories across cultures describe unconditional love, a life review, and transformation on the other side of death. Rarely do these experiences point back to doctrinal formulas — instead, they echo the heart of Jesus’ teachings: love, forgiveness, and compassion.
- Metaphysics and quantum physics. The mysteries of science and spirituality don’t feel opposed anymore; they feel like different lenses on the same truth.
- Reincarnation and parallel lives. Ideas that once felt “off-limits” now stir deeper questions about God’s design and the soul’s growth.
- Mystical tools. Tarot, Human Design, auras — things once dismissed as “witchcraft” — I now see as possible languages God might use to communicate truth.
None of these have replaced my faith. They’ve expanded it. They’ve helped me love more openly, see people more fully, and hold less fear.
Living in the Tension
I won’t lie… stepping beyond the boundaries of Christianity in my faith journey has been hard. I was born and raised in the church. I studied theology, learned Greek and Hebrew, preached sermons, wrote Christian books, even worked in Bible software for over 15 years.
Christianity was my identity. The church was my community.
So to admit I no longer fit the definition is painful. It’s a hard pill to swallow.
But here’s what’s harder: pretending I still fit inside a box that no longer reflects where I truly am.
So I choose integrity. I choose to tell the truth about what I actually believe. I’m no longer hiding parts of who I am & what I believe in the name of maintaining appearances.
The Blue Thread
Through all of this, one thread has remained constant: love.
If something draws me toward greater love for God and others, I lean in. If it stirs fear, division, or hatred, I deem it to be not of God — however you name the Divine.
That has become my litmus test.
And that thread of love — that “narrow road” Jesus spoke of — is what continues to guide me forward, even when the path doesn’t look like it used to.
Still Following Jesus
So, where does that leave me?
Not a Christian by definition.
But still a follower of Yeshua — with a faith that goes beyond Christianity.
Still striving to live out his way of love, forgiveness, and compassion.
Still seeking God in the places where he chooses to reveal himself.
Still walking the path, one step at a time.
This is where I am today. Tomorrow may bring new understanding. But love will always remain my compass.
If you’ve ever wrestled with faith, labels, or identity, you’re not alone. This is the messy middle of the journey — and I think it’s worth sharing. And if you’re looking for a place to openly have such conversations, meet me in the Living Room, my free community.
Grace and peace,
LaRosa