For most of my life, I lived inside the Christian tradition. I studied the Bible deeply, learned the Greek and Hebrew, taught it, preached it, and built tools to help others study it. Even today, my website BibleStudy.Tips continues to serve Christians who want to understand Scripture more deeply.
But over the last several years, my faith has shifted through study, experience, and genuine spiritual exploration. I haven’t “walked away from God.” I haven’t rejected Jesus. I haven’t abandoned my roots.
I’ve simply grown into a new way of understanding God, the Bible, and the spiritual life — one that feels more aligned with what I’ve experienced, what I’ve learned, and what I now know to be true.
This post is not a manifesto.
I’m not trying to argue or convert anyone.
I’m simply articulating what I believe right now, in this moment.
These beliefs may expand or deepen as I continue to grow.
But today, this is where I stand.
Why I’m Sharing This
Before going any further, I want to name something important:
I’m sharing this publicly because silence creates confusion — and sometimes even shame.
My wife gets asked what I believe now, and I don’t want her to have to guess or feel pressured to interpret my journey for me. I also know there are people quietly watching my faith shift, wondering where I actually stand.
This post isn’t an act of rebellion or defiance.
It’s an act of clarity, honesty, and integrity.
I’m writing this:
- so loved ones don’t have to wonder
- so my wife doesn’t have to translate for me
- so others walking their own deconstruction path can feel less alone
- and so I can live my truth openly, without reshaping it to ease someone else’s discomfort
I’m not asking anyone to agree with me.
I’m simply making space for myself to be honest.
I Am Still a Follower of Yeshua
This is a crucial point, especially for people who know me through Christianity.
I no longer fit comfortably inside the institutional Christian framework…
but I still follow Yeshua — deeply.
I see him as:
- a fully awakened human
- a teacher of Divine Love
- a model of alignment with God
- someone who revealed what it means to be truly human
- an embodiment of spiritual consciousness that is available to all of us
I have not rejected Jesus.
If anything, I follow him more wholeheartedly now — without the doctrinal baggage.
Jesus (Yeshua): Who He Is to Me Now
A Fully Awake Human Being
I believe Yeshua was profoundly connected to God in a way that most of us are not, yet can be. He lived in perfect resonance with Divine Love, revealing what alignment looks like in a human life.
Not Born of a Virgin
I no longer hold the virgin birth as literal history. It doesn’t diminish his significance or mission.
Not “God in the Flesh” in the Exclusive Sense
I believe all humans carry the Divine spark.
Yeshua embodied this awareness with clarity and consistency.
A Jewish Mystic, Likely with Essene Influence
His teachings, lifestyle, and worldview align closely with Essene ideas: purity, contemplation, communal life, prophecy, diet, and direct connection to God.
The Resurrection: Open-Handed
I’m not certain how I understand the resurrection — physical, spiritual, visionary, or something else entirely. But my trust in his teachings does not depend on the mechanics of what happened in the tomb (if he was even given a decent burial). What I can say with honesty is that Paul and the disciples genuinely believed they encountered Jesus alive after his death — an experience that shaped their teaching, their preaching, and the early movement itself.
How I Understand the Cross Now
The cross is still meaningful, but not in the penal substitution sense (more on that later).
I believe:
- Yeshua’s death came because he confronted the temple sacrificial system and the religious-political structures benefiting from it.
- The cross symbolized the end of the sacrificial paradigm — a shift echoed in the transition from the Age of Aries (sacrifice) to Pisces (faith) to Aquarius (inner knowing).
- The crucifixion is the ultimate expression of self-giving love, forgiveness, and nonviolence in the face of human brutality.
- The cross reveals God, not as a being demanding blood, but as one who absorbs violence and responds with love.
The cross is not about appeasing God.
It’s about revealing God.
The Bible: What It Is (and What It Isn’t)
A Human Library About Divine Encounters
I see the Bible as a collection of writings that reflect ancient people’s evolving understanding of God. It contains wisdom, beauty, insight, contradiction, development, and sometimes human agendas.
Not Perfect, Not Inerrant
It contains errors, tensions, and competing theologies.
This doesn’t make it useless — it makes it honest.
I Read It Scholarly, Not Literally
Genre matters.
Context matters.
Ancient Near Eastern worldview matters.
Redaction and scribal agendas matter.
Canon formation and politics matter.
Still a Meaningful Spiritual Text
Despite everything, Scripture remains a valuable resource, and I still study it — just through a different lens than before.
On How I Actually Use Scripture Now
I’ve addressed this more fully in another post and video.
Rather than repeating that here, I’ll simply say:
The Bible remains important to me — but it is not my sole source of truth.
My Evolving View of Paul
This deserves its own section, because it shaped so much of Christian theology.
Paul’s Message vs. Jesus’s Message
In the New Testament, Paul emphasizes:
- belief in Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection
- justification by faith
- salvation through belief in the Christ-event
But Jesus emphasized:
- loving God
- loving neighbor
- forgiveness
- nonviolence
- inner transformation
- alignment with the Divine
These are very different emphases.
Paul vs. the Twelve
It’s historically clear that:
- Paul was in tension with the apostles who actually walked with Jesus
- the apostles carried the actual teachings of Yeshua
- Paul carried his own interpretation based on mystical visions
- Paul’s theology sometimes contradicted Jesus’s own words
For most Christians today, Paul is the lens through which they understand Jesus and the rest of the Bible.
For me now, Jesus is the lens through which I understand Paul — and sometimes that means disagreeing with Paul.
God, Source, and the Nature of the Divine
My view of God has expanded beyond the anthropomorphic image of a deity in the sky.
God Is Love
Not metaphorically.
Literally.
Love is the fundamental consciousness behind everything.
God as Source
I see God as the infinite field of being that we emerge from and return to — the One in whom “we live and move and have our being.”
No Wrath, No Violence
I don’t believe God requires sacrifice, punishment, or blood. Those reflect human projections, not God’s true nature.
The Divine Within Us
Every human carries a spark of the Divine — the imago Dei — even if we’re not aware of it.
The Holy Spirit, Inner Knowing, and Divine Guidance
I still believe in the Holy Spirit — deeply.
But I no longer see the Spirit as a separate being in the Trinitarian sense.
Instead…
The Holy Spirit is our inner knowing.
It is:
- intuition
- resonance
- alignment
- guidance
- the stillness beneath the noise
- the part of us that recognizes truth
- the Divine presence moving within consciousness
- our spiritual gifts
When Christians say “the Holy Spirit spoke to me,” I believe what they are experiencing is genuine — but filtered through their theological language.
The Spirit is the guiding presence of God within us.
My View on Miracles
One thing I want to make clear is that I still believe miracles are real.
Unlike many critical scholars who reduce the supernatural to metaphor, I believe spiritual and mystical phenomena are part of how reality actually works.
Whether it’s healing, prophecy, synchronicity, visions, or experiences that break the boundaries of physical explanation — I believe these things are possible because consciousness itself is not limited to the material world.
So when I read miracle stories about Yeshua:
- I don’t dismiss them
- I don’t reduce them to poetry
- I don’t assume they’re fabrications
I simply hold them within a larger understanding of how spiritual consciousness interacts with the physical world. If anything, my expanded worldview has made the miraculous feel more plausible, not less.
Sin, Salvation, and the Human Journey
With these foundations in place — who Jesus is to me, how I understand God, Scripture, the Spirit, and even the miraculous — my views on sin and salvation have shifted as well.
No Eternal Conscious Torment
I do not believe in hell as an eternal destiny. Near Death Experiences (NDEs) show that hellish experiences can occur, but they are temporary states of consciousness — not punishment.
Sin as Misalignment
I see sin not as moral failure but as living out of harmony with God, love, and our true nature.
No Penal Substitution
God does not require blood to forgive.
Forgiveness is the natural expression of Divine Love. This is why Jesus taught forgiveness and tied our forgiveness from God to the forgiveness we extend to others.
LGBTQ+ Inclusion
I do not believe homosexuality is a sin. Most biblical passages historically used to condemn the LGBTQ+ community do not refer to loving, consensual relationships.
Reincarnation and Return
I believe in reincarnation or parallel timelines — conscious return for growth and healing. Every soul ultimately returns to God. The reincarnation cycle ends when we can learn to love and reach Christ consciousness like Jesus did.
Yeshua’s Path of Salvation
Salvation is not a transaction.
It is a transformation into love.
- Love God
- Love neighbor
- Forgive freely
This is the path that raises consciousness, heals the soul, and aligns us with the Divine.
Spiritual Practices (What My Faith Looks Like Now)
I still live a deeply spiritual life.
It simply looks different now.
I practice:
- meditation
- breathwork
- prayer
- contemplation
- journaling
- intuitive listening
- studying Scripture alongside mystical texts
- connecting with guides and inner wisdom
- connection through movement & exercise
I don’t “worship” in the old sense — but I live with a posture of reverence toward God.
I experience God more now, not less.
My Relationship with the Church
I’m not anti-church.
I don’t carry bitterness or anger toward Christianity.
I simply no longer feel spiritually at home in spaces built on doctrines I no longer believe.
But…
I still love and respect Christians — including my wife, my family, and the communities I’ve been part of.
I talked about this in my blog/video on respect in marriage during deconstruction, and that same posture applies here.
I will not mock Christianity, attack the church, or look down on believers.
Everyone is on their own journey.
My Posture Toward Christians Who Disagree
I know my beliefs will raise questions.
Some people will disagree.
Some will worry about me.
Some may feel threatened or confused.
I honor that.
But I’m not entering debates or defending my views in comments.
I don’t need to argue.
I don’t need to prove anything.
If I choose to further explain something, I’ll do so in future posts or videos — not because someone demands it, but because it feels aligned.
A Final Word About Labels
I no longer call myself a Christian in the institutional sense.
But I absolutely consider myself:
A follower of Yeshua and his way of love.
That is my path.
That is my grounding.
That is my spiritual home.
Holding All of This With Open Hands
Everything I’ve shared here reflects where I am today — not a final destination, not an unchanging system of belief. I hold these convictions with openness and humility, knowing that truth continues to unfold and deepen as I grow.
If new insight expands my understanding, I welcome it.
If experience reshapes what I believe, I’ll honor it.
If God leads me into greater clarity — even if it contradicts where I stand now — I will follow that truth wherever it goes.
This is simply my honest place in this season, nothing more and nothing less.
A Note for Those Who Care About Me
Lastly, if you’re reading this because you love me or you’re concerned about my spiritual direction, thank you. Truly. I don’t take that lightly.
I want you to know:
- I’m not angry at the church.
- I’m not rejecting everything I once believed.
- I’m not running from God.
- I’m not lost or confused.
The same rigor with which I studied Christianity is the same rigor I use today in my spiritual journey. I’m following the path of truth, love, and integrity as honestly as I know how.
And if your journey looks different than mine, I honor that too. We don’t have to match to remain connected. We don’t have to agree to remain in relationship.
I’m grateful for every person who has shaped my faith, my growth, and my story.
Nothing in this post changes that.
Thank you. 🙏🏾