I’ve spent a lot of time talking about what I’ve left behind in my faith, but I want to share what I’m actually thankful for.
When we go through deconstruction, it’s easy to get stuck in the pain of what we’ve lost or the disillusionment of what no longer fits. But sometimes healing comes from remembering the good… the parts that shaped us, taught us, and helped us grow. For me, after more than forty years in the Christian faith, there’s a lot I’m still deeply grateful for.
1. The Example of Jesus (Yeshua)
Even though my view of Jesus has evolved, his example remains at the center of my faith. I may not see him as the divine Son of God in the traditional sense, but I still view him as a master teacher, an ascended being who embodied love, forgiveness, and oneness with the Divine. Every major world religion holds him in high regard for a reason: his teachings transcend boundaries.
What I still hold close from his life is his message of loving God, loving others, and living a life of compassion and forgiveness. That, to me, is the essence of his way… and it’s the path I continue to walk.
2. Theology and Hermeneutics
This one might surprise some people. As someone who has deconstructed their faith, you might think I’d want to distance myself from theology altogether; but, honestly, it’s one of the things I’m most thankful for.
My years studying theology and hermeneutics taught me how to think critically, how to ask better questions, and how to seek truth with depth and integrity. I was the kind of person who read theology books for fun and spent decades immersed in church communities that valued systematic theology, original languages, and deep Bible study. I even worked in Bible software and spent countless hours studying sermons, Scripture, and apologetics.
Those experiences gave me a seminary-level education without ever attending seminary. And ironically, it was the same hermeneutic principles I learned in those spaces that led me out of certain theological frameworks… first from prosperity theology to dispensationalism, from dispensationalism to Reformed theology, and later to an even broader understanding of God and the universe. I’m grateful for that foundation because it helped me see how truth continues to expand.
3. A High View of God
If theology gave me the tools, it also gave me reverence. Christianity instilled in me a deep respect and awe for God — both the transcendent and the immanent. Studying God’s nature taught me about divine attributes, holiness, and the mystery that holds the universe together.
Today, my view of God has expanded. I often use words like Source, the Divine, or even Consciousness… but the essence remains the same. There’s a Creator that holds all things together, and that understanding still anchors me. Christianity laid the groundwork for my fascination with quantum physics, metaphysics, and the unseen world because it first taught me to revere the One who made it all.
And not only did it give me reverence, it also gave me proximity and nearness. It showed me that Source resides in me and is not some far off distant creator that has nothing to do with its creation. That dichotomy helped me properly frame the Divine.
4. Friendships and Community
This one’s a bit tender. The Christian faith gave me friendships and mentors who helped shape my character and deepen my faith. I met some of my best friends in church spaces, including my best friend Antoine came into my life through a Christian hip-hop message board.
Community was one of Christianity’s greatest gifts. It taught me the importance of shared faith, vulnerability, and support. Losing that connection during deconstruction has been painful, and not everyone from that world understands where I am now. Some relationships have changed or faded… but I’m still grateful for what those people brought into my life. They were part of my journey, and I honor that.
5. A Place to Express My Gifts
Christianity gave me countless opportunities to express my faith and creativity. From teaching Bible studies in online chat rooms to writing devotions, reviewing Christian hip-hop albums, building websites, preaching sermons — it gave me a stage to share my heart.
It helped me overcome my fear of public speaking and taught me how to communicate with purpose. It even opened the door to authorship, as I wrote and self-published several books. Those experiences didn’t just shape my skills; they shaped my soul. And they continue to serve me today through my YouTube channel, writing, and creative projects.
Integration, Not Escape
I no longer see Christianity as something to escape from. It’s not an identity I need to reject. It’s part of my story. Those forty-plus years in the faith shaped me into who I am today, and for that, I’m deeply thankful.
Deconstruction isn’t about tearing everything down; it’s about integrating what’s true and releasing what no longer fits. Christianity gave me a foundation to build upon… one rooted in love, reverence, and wisdom. And for that, I’m at peace.
So I’ll leave you with this question: If you’re walking your own deconstruction journey, what parts of your faith experience are you still grateful for?
Because yes… there’s pain in letting go. But there’s also beauty in remembering the good that helped you grow.